The Story of Cinderella:
A Journey of Judgement and Sorrow
Forgiveness and Joy
By: Susan Hansen
July, August, September 2019
I was watching Cinderella the other day and I saw the movie with a new set of eyes, and I wanted to share what I observed to give you a new perspective. For those who need a refresher on the movie, Cinderella is about a young maiden whose loving father has passed away and she is left to live with her Step-mother and Step-sisters who are incredibly mean and unkind to her. The climax of the movie is when Cinderella wants to go to the Royal Ball and is not allowed due to her Step-family’s blocks that prevent her from getting ready in time. Next enters the Fairy God Mother who through a series of events makes it possible for Cinderella to not only be able to attend the ball but ends up finding her one true love, the Prince.
So, what does this story have to do with judgement and forgiveness? A lot!
The need to judge or the feeling of being judged is a big part of our emotional journey. If we judge, we are telling ourselves or someone else that they are not good enough in our eyes or from our perspective.
If we have been on the receiving end of judgement it may cause us to feel like we are not good enough based on someone else’s perspective.
In the story of Cinderella, we find 3 main characters that I want to explore to see what they represent and how we can apply them in our own lives.
Fairy God Mother: Represents Divine Intercessor, healer, teacher and how to let go of judgments towards others. The FGM did not get mad or condemn Cinderella’s cruel family but instead focused on how to help Cinderella’s pain and needs. She came to transform the energy and therefore gave out wishes fulfilled (going to the ball); turned the impossible into possibility (the pumpkin, the mice and her gown); and she stayed neutral (non-judgment). We learn how important it is to focus on the situation at hand and when we do not get involved with things that do not concern us, we stay out of judgement.
Cinderella: Represents our vulnerability and how we can overcome our circumstance in life, with our hopes waiting to be realized and manifested. She expressed her feelings but did not condemn her step-family. So, we learn how to forgive from Cinderella because she was taught this from her Fairy God Mother (source energy). After losing a loving parent, she was abandoned and treated unfairly but, in the end, she chose to acknowledge her feelings of sadness and fear and at the same time stayed hopeful. Cinderella was able to surrender to her FGM and her situation because she trusted in the guidance being offered.
Stepmother/Stepsisters: They represent our pain, selfishness, need, ugliness, greed and worry. They also represent how we treat others when we feel unloved, abandoned or stuck. We learn from the step-family that their cruelty came from being wounded which caused them to lash out at those who were vulnerable (Cinderella).
We must remember that the Stepmother was also abandoned when her husband died leaving her not only with her own daughters but a stepdaughter along with all the financial worries when left on her own. She lacked the emotional tools to comfort Cinderella and therefore put up walls. How many can relate to her fear?
What is interesting is that we can be all three in a matter of moments or throughout our day. It is important to recognize what role we are playing and to acknowledge where we are regarding our relationships. Stop right now and ask yourself, which one plays a bigger role in your life? Why? Are you in a place of vulnerability? Are you in a place of judging someone? Are you in a place of offering help to someone in need?
When there is extreme unforgiveness, say from a childhood trauma, we can hold that state of mind well into adulthood. This is what we call a “soul attachment” and being corded energetically.
How to know if we hold unforgiveness:
There will be extreme pain (both mental and physical) along with the emotions of anger, resentment, self-pity and blame. These types of emotions can trap the trauma one has experienced years later.
Ways to release:
1. Attach a rope or a piece of string or yarn to your body, say your wrist and attach that to an empty chair say on the arm or leg. Place the person or experience in the chair and say out loud, “I will no longer allow you to control me”. Take a pair of scissors and cut the rope; fold up the rope and bury it somewhere deep where it can never to see the light of day.
2. You can also do a letter writing exercise where you express your feelings and then burn the letter and bury it along with the rope. It may be best not to bury your items in your own yard if you are going to think about the person every time you see the “burial site” but perhaps in the woods or in the trash can.
3. Place the person who caused you pain in an empty chair and tell them out loud exactly how your feel about them. You can yell, cry or just express anything that comes out of you.
Note: You may have to repeat the steps above several times for you to “feel” like you have released. Take your time as this is not a test.
How you know when you have forgiven:
1. You can talk about your trauma without pain, be that emotional or physical. You are neutral in your feelings. You have a sense of calm which is not to be confused with being numb and release the feelings of anger, pain, resentment, self-pity, blame and the need to control from the ego.
2. You realize that your long-held grief serves no other purpose except to strengthen a false sense of self (ego). This is a keen awareness.
3. You will be aware that any restricted flow of energy may cause illness and that pent- up energy can cause pain and that pain will show you where you are blocked spiritually/emotionally (chakras).
4. You will realize that any pain released from your body is a result of forgiving others and your experiences. The more you deny your circumstance; the more energy will get stuck (blocked) in your body.
5. You will have learned or discovered to not fight against your body and mind, as this will lead to friction. Instead, surrender to the process of release after you have acknowledged the pain or trauma.
Forgiveness is saying that the ego will no longer be in control or hold the power of your pain. Forgiveness is the death of the ego and a time when you can reclaim your power. Forgiveness will always follow judgement because it has to do with a release and standing in our own truth (our perspective).
“Joy is your sorrow unmasked”
Let us discuss joy and sorrow because this is also what the story of Cinderella represents. Without the sorrow we cannot know joy and to accept that both pain and happiness will come to each of us. How can we know the value of life without death? How can we know the value of joy without sorrow?
There is a counterpart in all of us because we LEARN THROUGH CONTRAST. Without the contrast we do not grow. What is interesting is that we should be neither overly joyful nor overly sorrowful for long periods of time.
If you have ever watched a monk in prayer, he is not giddy with joyfulness or tearful in introspection but is content in his space. This is true alignment. So, in other words, joy and sorrow are the same, not one worse or better than the other. We only take notice when the joy or sorrow is magnified.
An example of being overly joyful is when we fall in love with someone. The feelings are so amazing that it can feel overwhelming and takes us off our center. “Floating on air” is a statement that comes to mind. This state of being cannot be maintained long and soon falls into more of a balanced energy. This is also why some people love the idea of falling in love and try to stay in the honeymoon phase for as long as it takes for the feeling of extreme joy to leave and then they abandon the relationship. They run on the adrenaline of “being high”, which is not sustainable.
An example of being in extreme sorrow is when we experience long periods of depression and grief, as this can become a state of mind and therefore a habit. When we can redirect our thoughts and see a different perspective, we can release the fear behind the depression and grief. Again, it is about the death of our ego. Neither Cinderella nor the FGM responded from a place of ego, just the stepmother and sisters. And even though we see the sorrow with Cinderella, she did not stay in that negative space.
Ways that help with sorrow:
1. Remain as neutral as you can which will encourage balance and proper perspective. Come from a place as if you are watching your situation on a movie screen or if this was happening to a friend of yours. The idea is to gain some distance.
2. Be in gratitude, which is saying “thank you” to the Universe whenever you experience joy, contentment and peace and then when sorrow comes your gracefulness will help to balance you out.
3. Be in prayer/meditation and ask for help and guidance when you have sorrow, depression or pain. ASK for help!!
In the end, Cinderella received her heart’s desire. Why? Because she trusted in source energy and accepted the help that was offered even though she had doubts about how it would work out. Accept help when it comes your way, for perhaps a miracle will be right around the corner.
The Fairy God Mother released when her help was no longer needed but with the knowledge that she is never far away. This is a good reminder to all of us that when we receive help from source energy, that it is not a one- time deal; that help is always available to us if we first ask and then believe.
The Stepmother and Stepsisters were able to receive forgiveness and compassion and gained humility which enabled them to move on. Humility is not an easy drink to swallow as it is the release of the ego which is bitter indeed. Remember that unforgiveness is always attached to our ego and forgiveness is taking your power AWAY from the ego.
I would like to say that they “lived happily ever after” but I cannot for that is not realistic. What I can say is that there will be ups and downs with great triumphs, forgiveness, joy, gladness, judgments, unforgiveness, sorrow and pain. This life is a ride on the wheel and all things live in cycles. Stay strong and centered when sorrow comes in and grateful when joy sits in your heart.
If you need help in the area of forgiveness or moving past your sorrow, please give me a call. I am here for you.